After loosing my youngest son, I became painfully aware of the lack of control I had over this life of mine. I struggled, not just with the overwhelming sadness of living life without my son, but also with accepting this new life I was forced to life. I lived with a new outlook that 'whatever is going to happen, will' and what could I do about it?! I had no control. It was defeating.
Ten months after our loss, I realized I could not function within the parameters of the way I was choosing to live. I could not regain some of who I had been while struggling with coming to terms with my inability to control my fate. I finally began to realize that even though there are definitely things I can NOT control in this life, I can choose to control the way I live. I've never been one to care about living 'healthy' but it was easy for me to identify that I also had never felt comfortable in my skin. I have always felt overweight and never certainly never cared to exercise. After examining the events of my life, I decided that I wanted to take control over my health… for myself and for my son. I wanted to live this life to the fullest because he never had the chance.
That was a year and a three months ago, since than I lost 40 pounds, have energy to spare and have completed several 5ks (however, haven't reached my goal of RUNNING a full 5k). I strive to raise healthy kids who understand the balance of eating healthy and allowing themselves the pleasures of eating brownies. As of late, I noticed that I was struggling to stay focused on healthy habits and was slowly reverting to my old ways. I am up 10 pounds and my clothes were getting tight. I sat down with my husband yesterday, explained how I was again feeling uncomfortable in my skin again and we decided together to recommit to obtaining optimal health. He was going to do this with me, which is amazing!
That is where this blog comes into play… for me, blogging is a great outlet to express myself. I like to write and share my experiences because I don't think my unique in the way I see this life. My goal is to redefine this life I live and to potentially help others while they become comfortable in their own skin.
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